Exam period is upon us, and the student population are all flocking to one place: the library. Suddenly books are flying off the shelves, and young minds are being crammed with information. Whilst the library is great when you really need a kick up the arse, exam period brings the worst kind of library revellers.
The Lad
This is the sporty, popular guy that is a self-professed Bantersaurus Rex. Archbishop of Banterbury, if you wish. To put it simply, he is the most loudly ‘hilarious’ person in the library. The Lad usually comes complete with an army of beta males telling him what a banter machine he is.
The Eater
Every library has a hungry horse or two. Often a ridiculously hard working international student who has upped residence in the library, and insists on eating their three meals a day much to the disdain of those within crumb-spraying distance. They can often be found consuming particularly crunchy, whiffy and rustly-packeted foods for maximum annoyance.
The Squatter
Yet another creature who has resigned to 24 hour library life. Also known as the Library Troll, they camp out in the same spot, conveniently hogging all surrounding power sockets. Most of the time they will be eating, sleeping (see ‘The Eater’ and ‘The Sleeper) or Facebooking, but will fight to the death before giving up their space.
The Sleeper
This poor soul has worn themselves right out. Between furious bouts of revision, they have decided that library naps are perfectly acceptable. They are not. Drooling, snoring and inadvertently welcoming face-drawing and pen stealing are all parts of the Sleeper’s routine.
The one that has all the books
Most uni libraries have a great selection of books tailored to taught courses and exams. You look on the system to find one or more books that are vital to your passing of an exam. But of course, it’s been taken. And reserved for the next 30 years. You spend the next few weeks looking around your lecture room suspiciously, glaring at the swot that obviously robbed you of your education.
The distractingly hot one
Every library has a few babes. On any other day, this would be fantastic. But when revision needs to be done, hotties can be overwhelmingly distracting. Spending the majority of your time mastering your most attractive thinking face whilst perfecting your most flattering study posture is not productive.
The gaggle of girls
As annoying as a group of chortling men are (see ‘The Lad’), there is nothing quite like the shrill laughs of a gaggle of girls. Many seem to think of the library as a social meeting point, much to the annoyance of everyone around, who will stare angrily into their computer screens in silent protest.
Written by Sarah Davis